Reasons to keep your mainframe: 

  1. You just have too much money to spend. Your banker complains about your accounts exceeding the limit set for positive balance. You really need to spend more money, and the mainframe is such a great way of solving this problem. Hurrah!

  2. IBM is a charity, dwarfing the Red Cross and Mother Theresa in its quest for human kind’s greater good. It feels so good supporting them. It’s good for your Karma. It makes you a better person, and the world a better place.


  3. Flexibility is sooo overrated. Make things hard to change, and the world will comply and won’t require them to change. It’s that simple.

  4. You have resumes of mainframe resources piling up on your desk. You would just hate not having jobs ready for the hundreds of enthusiast young graduates write poems in JCL and dream of working on mainframes until their last breath, they’ve put IBM’s reference manuals on their Amazon wish lists.

  5. A 3270 screen is like modern art. Invest, you’ll sell them to MOMA and grow rich. Mouse clicks are just a fad, and touch screens suck. Real users don’t check boxes, don’t drag or drop, don’t scroll, don’t touch, and don’t pinch. Don’t use graphics either.

    Dirty CICS

  6. JCL is a major contribution to mankind. It is the original language the Iliad and the Odyssey were written in. It is more elegant than Italian, more sophisticated than French, more rigorous than German, more widespread than English, more expressive than Japanese, more universal than Esperanto and more elaborate than Mandarin.

  7. Old computers and system software are like wine, they improve over time. They get better, more subtle, and more powerful. They have a depth that recent machines can only dream of.

  8. The changing world is just a hoax. It is a fact spread by the media with an agenda. It’s a plot. Earth is flat, and will remain so. Forever.

Punched Cards

And perhaps, who knows, punched cards may come back in fashion, and you’ll be ready for them ! 

We will keep the infinite list of good reasons to keep you mainframe: tweet yours!